It is a rare occurrence that I miss out on Porn.

The band... but you knew that right? Riiiiiight.....

Ok, so in spite of a minor setback previous to the show, I arrived in time for Big Business. If you know me, you know I love me some Big Business, and they did not disappoint this time around. They played a lot of material from their debut record, Here Come The Waterworks, and 3 songs from their latest tour ep... which happens to include a cover of Shocking Blue's 'Send Me a Postcard'. Not what you'd expect from a band as punishing as Big Business, but the results are kind of hard to argue with. It also seems that Big Business is no longer a 2 piece, as Toshi Kasai has taken on the role of full time guitarist. This time around, his parts seemed to gel a bit better than the last time they came through town, a trait that more touring and practice has obviously strengthened.

Although Chicago probably endured the most ferocious storm of the summer about an hour before the show (and a killer all-night lightning display that was quite incredible), the real thunderstorm came when The Melvins took the stage. The Melvins and I have a strange history that dates back to 1996, and it involves the Rosemont Horizon and Kiss. Yes... Kiss the band with that annoying douchebag bass player Gene Simmons. I saw Kiss on their first reunion tour with full makeup and the original lineup, and The Melvins happened to be the opener. At the time, I had heard the name but never any of their music, and I may have had the chance to hear a lot more had the effin' Kiss Army not booed them right off stage after 3-4 songs.

Now, even as a 17 year old kid, I said to myself, "ok, you idiot 'fans'... if Kiss has an opener on the bill... don't you think they are probably fans of the band and/or obviously had a say in who was going to be opening such a historic tour?" In my opinion, that pretty much gives a band the right to be heard. You can disagree, but I think you're flat out wrong. So I was left with a very faint glimpse of what The Melvins were all about that night, and even though Kiss completely blew my mind that night, The Melvins never escaped my conscience, and I'm glad they didn't.

So fast forward back to 2008 and 7 or 8 Melvins shows later (they are pretty good about coming around once a year and I always try to catch them). The Double Door feels like its 100 degrees and 99% humididty, the place is overrun with dudes (whadja' expect?) sweating their collective asses off, and the bartenders are even spraying water into the crowd (which, on any other night, I'd probably be super pissed about, but this was a welcome relief). The Melvins open with the title track to their new record, Nude With Boots, and continue to bring the Double Door to its knees over the next hour or so. This was by far the best Melvins show I've ever seen, and probably makes its way onto my top 20 shows list of all time. The new(er) additions to The Melvins, aka the Big Business Rhythm section, coupled with King Buzzo and Dale Crover are an absolute force that, pardon my french, cannnot be fucked with. It's perhaps the best example of how old and new school musicians have joined forces to create music that far surpasses their individual talents. Most of the set consisted of songs from their 2 most recent records (Nude With Boots and A Senile Animal), but they broke a few hits out of the vault from Houdini ('Honey Bucket' sent the crowd into a frenzy), Stoner Witch, and I swear they did something from Ozma that I couldn't quite put my finger on and quite honestly still haven't been able to (my memory sucks sometimes). Another highlight(lowlight?) came when King Buzzo called for a 'heat break' in which he recalled a totally tasteless joke about Billy Corgan's mother that I didn't find really funny, but most of the crowd seemed to. When the show ended, The Melvins left the stage, walked behind the bar, and disappeared. No curtain call, no bullshit, just an hour or so of a complete musical education. I left the Double Door having soaked through my shirt and pants completely with sweat (not piss... come on now)... and couldn't have been happier. You wanna play in a kick ass band? Go see a Melvins show, take notes, and practice your ass off.